Friday, March 11, 2011

Relationship Closure you need it?

I have been suffering from a lack of closure. This has adversely affected my emotions, which perhaps follow the scale of a 10sin10x - 10 graph. If you understand that, then you will know that my mood has been fluctuating between depression and neutrality (okay, I hope I got that equation right...)

There are days where I feel that I can talk to you normally and not be affected that we are no longer together. But there are also days where I can't seem to face you or string words together. There are also times where I just wonder...what happened? How can emotions just die down just like that? Don't you give a damn at all? How could you act normally?

The worst thought passing through my mind is: was there someone else?

You may think I am crazy for running such thoughts through my mind. But it is really because of this lack of closure. I just can't help it! When I see you in the library, I wonder whether you are with anyone. Most probably yes, I guess. But I resisted the urge to go check.

Because we are no longer together.
I have no right to say anything.

I guess I cannot totally use the lack of relationship closure to account for my current state of emotions. Another reason is that I have never totally felt a sense of security being with you. You don't tell me much about your friends except for ww/grassy/teng. Whereas I tell you everything. Suddenly when you tell me you are going for supper with this girl that girl, of course I feel uncomfortable right?

I know everyone should have their own social life, have time to themselves, etc. But shouldn't you include your significant other in it too? There should be some balance right? But apparently you have been like that all your life, from what I heard from your past, something in which I have never told you before.

Right now, my emotions are a mess. I wish for a closure.

Will you grant me my wish?

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